For a long time, I would sit and just ask "Why?".
Why did my family and I have to go through that crap with work?
Why did I not get any of the jobs I applied and interviewed for?
Why did they not like my resume?
Why did they choose to go with someone else?
Why, why, why, why why!?
I have asked a lot of questions and I never knew why...until recently...
Like I have posted before, I finally got a job on February 28. Oddly enough, it had been exactly 8 months since I quit my job. Both Josh and I were baffeled at how long it had been, and I never knew why I got rejected time after time after time. Then last week Saturday, I was making bows for the girl's Easter outfits waiting for Josh to get home when it dawned on me.
One of my favorite songs when I was going through that struggle was "Blessings" by Laura Story. Every time I heard the line "This is not our home" always made me tear up. So I was making bows and listening to my ipod when that song came on. I, of course, sang as loud as I could (without waking the girls) and then I sat and thought about the mercies in disguise.
While struggling to pay our mortgage, God had a purpose, right? While guessing if we could buy groceries or not, God had a plan, right? So what was it? My job was going so well in the beginnig, so what made it go down hill? Then I realized, it wasn't just my job, but my family life as well. I wasn't the mom or wife I was supppose to be. My priorities weren't at all where they needed to be either. So God had to step in somehow to get my attention. And it was through my boss. To make a long story short, I was okayed for vaca, then he decided to change his mind and reject it and treat me like crap(call me names in front of temps and co-workers, make me and only me work late when he knew I had to take Josh to work/church, and stuff like that). I did tell my corporate office and they didn't seem to care, so I literally just didn't show up the next day in the middle of payroll. It was one of the hardest things I ever had to do, but Josh was an awesome trooper and helped me through it.
Those eight months of unemployment did a whole ton of good! Although we were struggling financially, God took care of us, just like He promised. We got our car payment waived for two months! We got extra money in out checking account. We had a stress free vacation! God was doing wonders in our lives! But I still couldn't answer the whys as they came. It was my fault because I wasn't listening...I was more focused on getting a job than focusing on what God had for me. Only did I know last week why I didn't get a yes from anyone else...
My blessing in disguise: I am more closer to my family than ever!!! Through those rough 8 months, God taught me that my family needs to come first(other than God, of course) no matter what! Whether it was for a tournament for discing or just to sit on the couch in my pjs with my girls all day while they were sick and watch movies for eight hours straight, it made us all closer and that is what God had in mind.
My new job is great and my boss is awesome! He allows me to go and pick up my kids if need be; he asks about my family and if I need to do anything for them...it is the dream job I've been praying for. God knew what He was doing and I just needed to be patient.
As I drove home from my first day of work, a verse came into my head:
"But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount up on wings as eagles. They shall walk and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint..."
I know that isn't exact, but I realized that God knows what He is doing and I just need to be patient, something I am not all the time. But that is my blessing in disguise...I hope you enjoyed my pity story...I just had to share it...=D Thanks for listening!
